You’re hungry, but not for something pedestrian.
You want a snack that tastes like power, petty revenge, and family money you never earned.
Welcome to the snack drawer of the disturbingly rich.Or, more accurately, the disturbingly self-aware.
Inside the Snack Drawer of a Billionaire
Let’s set the scene:
You’ve just stormed out of a board meeting you were never invited to. Your phone’s on Do Not Disturb. You’re wearing silk pajamas and emotional boundaries.
First Rule of Billionaire Snacking: No Kernels
We’re not doing “healthy-ish” trail mix or sad popcorn kernels stuck in your veneers.
This is about luxury snacks that require zero effort and maximum delusion.
Enter: Hey Caviar.
“Cold.”
“Salty.”
“Expensive, but not too expensive. Everything a good secret should be.”
What Do Rich People Eat Between Zooms?
According to absolutely no one but us:
- Caviar on Kettle Chips – Because it’s giving “I summer in St. Barts but still respect crunch.”
- Caviar by the bump – No carbs. No guests. Just a jar of Hey Caviar and the belief that this counts as self-care.
Caviar + Crème Fraîche on a Toast Point – For when you want to feel like you run a media empire, even if you just Googled “what’s a toast point.”
Not Technically a Billionaire? Fake It.
You don’t need a yacht. You need confidence and refrigeration.
Here’s what your snack game needs to scream (quietly):
- “I have a lawyer on retainer.”
- “This isn’t even my good robe.”
- “I emotionally spiral... but with taste.”
“My Venmo says ‘rent due,’ but my fridge says delusion deluxe.”
Want to Look Rich Without Spending Like It?
You’re in luck.
Our jars start under $199 (that’s half the price of the legacy brands, for the same exact premium Grade A caviar) and arrive colder than your last situationship.
Small flex. Big energy.
Because real luxury isn’t loud.It’s eaten at midnight on a Pringle over your sink.
Final Bite
Rich people eat caviar.
But you? You eat it better because you’re in on the joke and the flavor.
So, stock your snack drawer like you just closed Series B.Even if you’re still asking your mom for your login.
Shop billionaire snacks without the billionaire baggage.
Get your jar. Pretend you’re important
